you know what you could have instead of children?
- a nice house
- a nice car
- really nice shoes
- diamonds
- open weekends
- vacations that aren’t “child-friendly”
- nice things in general
- basically whatever you want because children are expensive and material things don’t grow up to resent you
(via ceciria)
I never had a “boys are icky and gross” phase I’ve literally been chasing dick since birth
(via sarawroar)
Meet Grady, a four year old corgi and my fuzziest friend. He also has earned the title of “hero”. Let me tell you the story:
This afternoon, 3:45, I saw a bottle sitting just inside of the fence. Naturally, I headed to pick it up because I live in a woods and littering can kill the animals.
Grady flipped. He started barking and howling and herded me away from that bottle as fast as his stumps let him. I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about, but I let him herd me away because he doesn’t act like this so often. To prove he was just being paranoid to him, I threw a rock at the bottle.
It blew up, scaring me to death. It turns out that the bottle was a Drano bottle bomb, and it could easily have hurt me or killed the corgi. I didn’t take any pictures, and I’m sure the plastic shreds aren’t enough evidence, but this dog is a hero to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and remember that corgis, not diamonds, are a girl’s best friend.
(via sarawroar)
The True Origin Stories Behind Six Classic Arrested Development Jokes
Mitch Hurwitz tells all: Who decided Carl Weathers should be cheap? Why the Blue Man Group? And has anyone ever eaten a mayonegg?
| Tumblr app: I'm done loading |
| Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs |
| Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter |
im gonna wear like 6 pairs of pants so people will begin to know me for wearing a ton of pants and when i get fat i will slowly remove the layers of pants and they won’t realize im fat they’ll just think i still wear 6 pairs of pants
(via eccentric-nightmares)
(via ceciria)
(via xlapinx)
